In Moments of Peace, I Make War with Myself

You think life could be whimsical and more than

grades, looks, politics and good grammar.

When really, life is just good grammar and

 big words, they’re ubiquitous.

I’ll change my hair color because I’m small

and small changes mean big things for a small person.

And I remember when I didn’t feel so small, 

I was a big word—despite the bad grammar.

The thing about that, though, is that people learn

new words all the time. So here I am

trying to decide what’s most important.

money, politics, money.

grades.

love, I think.

And something about that seems

fucked up, really.

That when I get a moment of peace, I blast my music

so I can’t hear my thoughts

and I can’t hear the world’s thoughts either.

And I write. Like now, about myself because

to each his own culture,

we’re all selfish, ethnocentric narcissists.

It’s how we learn.